my cat needs privacy

I've received a lot of questions about  P*****, and it's very sweet, but I'm afraid I can't answer any of them for you.

I feel guilty for fostering his internet presence.  He seems stressed out and moody all the time these days - not at all the playful, curious creature he was when I brought him home as a nine week old kitten.  He can sleep away most of the day and alternates between extreme neediness and wanting nothing to do with me, even when I'm wearing his favorite APC sweatshirt!  I think growing up in the spotlight has just been too much for the poor guy; nothing else explains why a cat would act that way.

I'm weirded out that some of you posted his picture on Tumblr, especially when you linked back to my blog.  Were you trying to give every freak on the Internet an all access pass? Literally all they had to do was click on the link to see more pictures of my cat. Terrifying!  I, personally, only look at pictures of my own animals when I use the internet and I don't get why people feel the need to creep on others' pets???  I have hundreds of Polaroids of P***** in different costumes uploaded so I don't have to invade anyone else's privacy.  If I want to look at a giraffe, I look at P***** dressed as a giraffe so I don't bother some poor girl who just wants to enjoy having a pet giraffe in peace.  I don't know why people just don't OWN all the things they like looking at, you know?  Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's No. 6 clogs is one of the Ten Commandments for a reason.

I hope you'll respect P*****'s privacy this time around.  Did you really think that commenting on how big he had gotten when I showed you before and after comparisons was okay?   Like it wouldn't get back to him?  Puuuuuhleaaze.  He needs therapy now, so if you feel like atoning for your sins, P*****'s PayPal account is mrbuttlicker@gmail.com.  But if you email him or even think about writing a personal note in your PayPal donation I swear I will cut you.

why are you so obsessed with why i deleted my old blog?

I said I'd never be back, but here I am. I know. I know. 

I really don't want to get into why I deleted my old blog. I'm not that girl anymore, can we just stop talking about it? I've moved on, why can't you?

But seriously, if we could just talk about it one more time, you're the ones who made me do it.  Look, maybe I took hundreds of photos of myself and made them publicly accessible, but I don't think that means you should have looked at them or made use of the comment feature I enabled, and I especially don't think you should have been allowed to have opinions about the things you read or saw.

I will do you the favor of continuing to have a blog. I will let those companies send me free shit again and then use a bunch of filters so that it isn't really clear whether I'm wearing a designer dress or a soiled sheet. I will accept advertisers and update sporadically, sometimes not even once in the month they paid for.  But don't think for a minute that I can't just take it away from you.  This blog is my burden, your blessing. TREAT IT AS SUCH AND WE'LL BE FINE. Actually, I'll probably still hate you and publicly mock you for liking me, but the point is I am on the internet. What a wretched place. I probably won't be here very long this time.